Wednesday, 10 January 2018

I can't stop crying


I cannot stop crying.
I don't know what it is.

Maybe it's an underlying feeling of incompetence
or just the fear of the unknown.
everything has gone wrong
but I don't know what this 'everything' is.
Anticipation and eventual potential defeat?
Or just insecurity?
I don't know what to expect in the next few months
tears? yes.
but will they be tears of defeat or joy?
I feel ill-judged

I can't stop crying. 
I don't know what it is.

I know I could and will do better
if I had just stuck to my comfort zone
I would not be in the situation I am in now
underpredicted
no hope
rejection
But they say
before something good happens
everything falls apart
and you know what
maybe that's true
maybe these feelings of pure depression
that leave me bed ridden
stuck
unwilling
lethargic
praying for an escape
are just the build up to something great.
I hope this 'great' thing comes soon
(it better be worth it) 

but for now


I can't stop crying.
I still don't know what it is.


-dalal

16 comments:

  1. This poetry is so beautiful hun! I've been feeling a lot like this so far in 2018, and I hope I stop feeling like it soon

    Steph - www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

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    1. thank you, Steph. ah I'm so sorry you feel this way, it sucks, I know. I hope it gets better for you <3

      Dalal

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  2. this poem just gets me...ive felt a bit down in 2018 so far so this poem just gets me. It's so good. I hope you feel a bit better about yourself (Also sorry about the comments on your blog just found it..its amazzzzing!!) XXX

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    Replies
    1. glad to know that you understand my situation, I hope it gets better for you :) also, welcome and thank you- hope you stick around

      Dalal

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  3. Sending virtual hugs Dalal, and I'm sure this 'great' thing is just around the corner x

    Sophie's Spot

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    1. *sends virtual hugs back* I hope so :)

      Dalal

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  4. Sometimes it be that way. Actually sometimes when I feel this way and I accept I'm just in THAT MODE it helps me a lot, like just to let myself feel that sadness/worry/etc. I have phases or periods where I just cry a lot more for no obvious reason. But I feel like there's something helpful about it, like your body is trying to do something, tell you something? idk.

    ALSO btw I don't know if you've realised your address is "monochrome daisies" but your blog header says "monochrome daises"?

    Sending you really soft internet tissues :-)

    Lilly xoxo

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    Replies
    1. Acceptance is the first and biggest step, I definitely think it's a sign of something like you've said. Thanks for the love

      Dalal

      ps- I had NO idea I had a typo in my blog header; it's been like that for over a year! Thank you for pointing that out haha

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  5. This is so beautifully written Dalal, but I'm so sorry you're feeling like this right now. Its true what they say about things falling apart before they fall into place, keep believing and you will get to where you want to be!

    Lucy | Forever September

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    1. Ah thanks Lucy, I'm in such a weird space of mind and I'm trying to my best to get out of it. I'm just hoping and hoping that it all does

      Dalal <3

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  6. Sometimes u genuinely need these periods of non-stop tears, to feel horrendously shitty. And you need to ride them out, let the feelings of dissatisfaction, sadness and negativity just manifest and flow through your system. Let it be! Sending you so much love, n' u can always send me a DM on insta or anything if you ever need to rant! xxxxx

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    1. I've accepted it as something that is meant to happen to me for me to be able to get on with my life. It just makes you feel really weak, worthless and hopeless. I hope I can get over it soon :/ Thank you for the love, Zoe- I really appreciate you <3

      Dalal

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  7. I hope you start to feel better soon Dalal, sending you all the love! But I think it's true, you have to go through shit times to get good times and it may feel never ending but it will end and you'll have moments of peace. Here if you ever need to talk! Also, this poem I beautifully written x
    constantlylibby.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thanks, a few days have passed and I'm feeling much better (touch wood) yess, I'm hoping that the good times come soon, even though as you said it does feel never ending.

      Lots of love,
      Dalal

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  8. This is beautifully writter and Ihope you're feeling okk! You'll get through it through and something great will come of it soon, just let it out. I'm always a message away if you ever need to talk xxx

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    1. Thank you Lexie <3 I'm feeling slightly less sad now which is very relieving because I didn't think I'd be able to function after last week.

      Dalal

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stop procrastinating and just comment already
jk
funny comments get extra points